Since we are committed to Lean efficiency, this survival guide is designed to help you endure the daily 10-minute stand-up without developing a facial twitch.
Think of this as your Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for corporate survival.
SOP: The 10-Minute Stand-up Survival Checklist
Phase 1: Pre-Meeting Prep (T-minus 2 mins)
- [ ] Hydrate: Bring a coffee. It serves as a prop to prevent you from fidgeting and provides a valid excuse for not answering a question immediately (the “tactical sip”).
- [ ] The “Busy” Stance: Hold a notebook or an iPad. Even if it’s just doodles of Batman, it signals “High Productivity.”
- [ ] Calibration: Identify which way the wind is blowing. Is the board mostly Red or Green today? Adjust your facial expression accordingly (Concerned vs. Quietly Proud).
Phase 2: During the Meeting (The “Gemba” Walk)
- [ ] Maintain “Active Listening” Face: Nod every 45 seconds. Tilt your head slightly when someone says “Bottleneck.”
- [ ] The 3-Second Rule: If someone asks you a direct question about a Red metric, wait 3 seconds. It makes your “We’re looking into the root cause” sound more thoughtful.
- [ ] Avoid Eye Contact during “Volunteering”: When the Lead asks, “Who can take ownership of this action item?”, suddenly become fascinated by the safety statistics from three weeks ago.
- [ ] Buzzword Injection: Drop exactly one (1) Lean term to prove you’re present. Example: “Is this a temporary workaround or a sustainable standard work?” ### Phase 3: The Exit Strategy (The “Muda” Elimination)
- [ ] The Prompt Departure: As soon as the “Any other business?” comes up, start backing away slowly toward your workstation.
- [ ] The Closing Statement: End with, “I’ll go focus on the value stream now.” Nobody can argue with that.
Emergency “Red Board” Deflections
If the manager stares directly at you and asks why the D (Delivery) is red:
| Situation | Recommended Deflection |
| It’s your fault | “We’re currently validating the data integrity of that metric.” |
| It’s someone else’s fault | “We are waiting for a cross-functional alignment to unblock the flow.” |
| Nobody knows why | “It’s a multi-faceted variance that requires a Gemba walk to truly understand.” |